Confession: Not a Book Review

(although I was thinking of the novel Di & I, which I read a few weeks before August 31, 1997.)


Among the many, many things that Teo will no doubt find shameful about his mom one day in the near future is the fact that she is a Princess Diana-o-phile.

I don't own any memorabilia from the 1981 wedding or (thankfully) the 1997 tragedy (except for countless commemorative magazines). I've never read a whole Diana bio from cover to cover.

But when Princess Diana died on Aug. 31, 1997, I was hit with a crippling, devastating sadness. That was the day I had my first measurements taken for my wedding gown, so for about 2 months I could only associate the wedding dress with sadness. (Wish I could tell you that there was a happy ending with the dress, but we're talking about a different shattered fairy tale here.)

Tonight I was reminded of how sad I felt when I watched Matt Lauer interview William & Harry.

It's been 10 years since Diana died. Back then, a lot of people thought I was crazy & shallow, that I was the height of celebrity-watching-culture-gone-mad. Perhaps they were right. But I know the feelings were real. I told Benjie tonight that I could remember how awful I felt, but I was glad I didn't feel the same feelings as intensely, any more.

I still wish that Diana were still alive, as crazy as she might have been herself. (She wasn't perfect--she was immature, and manipulative, and misguided in many things.) I wish Harry & Wills didn't lose her when they were so young, that they could've had her around now as they become men.